wedding – Manda Kay Writes

2020 Wrap Up

January 17, 2021December 30, 2020 Manda Kay

Yes, January is almost over, but I wanted to make a post about it anyway. Here are the highlights of an otherwise shitty year. It was a productive one, despite everything.

Good God I’d kill for some cake right about now — Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

January:

Wrote lots of letters to my nephew in basic, including sending him some of my first draft work for Itsy Bitsy.
Started making time to workout. It was irregular because my work schedule was irregular.

February:

Had a marathon drafting session for Itsy Bitsy and finished it in a week. Found out I can get a lot done under pressure.
Tried to make plans for an engagement party. It was going to be either laid back barbeque or like a ritzy masquerade with close friends and family. Then Covid happen the following month. It didn’t happen.
Paid off my car. Paying things off is like winning the lottery.
Did Breaking Benjamin’s VIP. Held Ben’s hand during a song. Almost cried.

March:

Packed up the rest of our life and closed on a house.
Cleaned boogers and possible shit from the walls of said house. It was really nasty.
Covid officially started in Nebraska. Lots of things cancelled.
My job cut back hours dramatically, so I was shipped off into the store. I worked mostly in online grocery pickup. I had awesome managers. It was fun.

April:

Every moment not at work was spent unpacking and cleaning.
Work was boring half the time. My coworkers and I had to take temperatures and stand around. Eight hours doing nothing goes by slow.

May:

Finally started writing again. Spent a lot of time editing Itsy Bitsy.
Made a tough decision between more pay and consistent morning hours. In the end, I decided I didn’t want to work for Walmart forever, and the only way to reach my goals was if I had a job with less stress and more consistency. I stepped down to write.
Worked out significantly less than before, but my job had me walking around 6 miles a day, so I was cool with it.
We built a privacy fence. By ‘we’ I mean my fiancé and my dad.

June

Finished editing Itsy Bitsy. Started the second draft.
Started listening to a writing podcast in my free time. I did this for a sense of community. I kept it up for several months but ultimately stopped. I just wasn’t getting what I wanted out of it.
I have something in my planner that says SPOOKY TACOS. I’m not sure what the context of that is. All I know is I want them again, but this time, more spooky.

July

Finished the second draft of Itsy Bitsy. Sent it to my beta (my mama) for a read through.
My fiancé got a new job with much better pay. My worries of if I made the right financial decision by leaving my old job subsided just a little.
Did family pictures with everyone on my side. It was hectic. But it was nice to see everyone.

August

Finished Itsy Bitsy and uploaded it to the world. Also ordered paperback copies. My first physical book!
Started tracking my writing differently. Set out short term goals as a sort of business plan, and journaled any thoughts relating to them.
Got together with my mama to talk about wedding stuff. Finally got a vision in mind.
Wrote a little story for my best friend’s birthday Zoom party.
Gave my website some TLC. It still needs more.
Put down deposit for wedding venue. It’s non-refundable. I guess it’s for real.

September

Spent time in Tennessee. Wasn’t ready to come back.
Mailed copies of Itsy Bitsy to people I knew and a few I didn’t.
Submitted a silly little entry to a horror cookbook contest.
Sold six copies of Itsy Bitsy to a local bookstore. I need to go in sometime and see how it did.
Made a plan to contact another bookstore to do a signing once Covid subsides. It looks like it’ll be a while before that happens.
Became a member of HWA and NWG.
Submitted several pieces to another contest, including a few chapters of Zemblanity.

October

Started a newsletter.
Submitted a flash fiction piece to a contest. It didn’t place, but I wasn’t in love with it. Might expand on it later.
Left town to do engagement pictures. My best friend and maid of honor dressed up as Pennywise for them. It was fun.
Started to work on a piece for a contest, then stopped. Decided it’s best not to stress over something I don’t have a solid plan for. No more half ass stories.
Applied for a job outside of Walmart. Interviewed. Decided against it. Too many red flags, and I don’t want to be married to a job. I wasn’t willing to give what they were asking.

November

Serious work on Zemblanity. It’s still a work in progress, but it’s been coming along nicely.
Submitted a short essay to a magazine to feel it out. Working on a longer essay while I wait for a decision on it.
Got the news that the Zemblanity excerpt I submitted was accepted for Voices of the Plains. It’s due to come out soon.
Made a solid business plan for the entirety of next year.
Bought a new laptop. It was much needed.
Experienced the season finale of Unus Annus. Might have felt feelings and bought merch because of said feelings.
Found a sense of purpose/direction/will to live after months in a slump.
Missed family on Thanksgiving due to Covid.

December

Covid. So much Covid.
Missed Christmas with the family and a lot of work.
Made awesome progress with Zemblanity.

As for this year, I don’t have anything concrete planned out to make me a better human. I do know that I want to get back into yoga and pilates again, and I got a new mat for Christmas so I may as well put it to good use. And, of course, as I told you before, I have a solid business plan for writing this year. Let’s hope things work out. Not to mention a few other little ideas I want to take the time to try out. It might work out. It might not work out. I’ll keep you updated if anything cool happens, and I’ll expect you to forgive me if I don’t tell you. Namely because if I don’t tell you, it means I made an absolute fool of myself, and while I am totally onboard with the whole idea of ditching the false narrative of constant happiness and optimism that social media drives into us, I don’t like to feel stupid, yo. You get it. 😉

Question time: Is there anything in particular you’d like to hear more about or see more of? Book reviews? Wedding shiz? My own personal writing things? Blog style whatnots? Lemme know! I’d love for this website to be more interactive. More people with conversation. Less bots that click like without even reading what was written.

Well, Void, here’s to a great 2021! Happy fucking New Year!!

My Mind

Pro-pose like a Pro

August 16, 2020April 8, 2021 Manda Kay

Come on. You know what this is going to be about.

So, as you all probably know, I got engaged to my guy of eleven years over the holidays. And, if you know me personally, you know that I’ve been waiting for that moment for the past seven of those eleven. I’ve had a lot of time to plan things out, and now that it’s happened, I couldn’t be more unprepared. You see, the thing is, when you spend a good chunk of your life planning, you get too many ideas, then you end up in my situation. Absolutely no idea where to go from here.

I did know one thing I wanted to do for sure right from the beginning, though. Two words: Bridesmaid Proposal. When I first found the idea on Pinterest, I thought it was just about the cutest thing, and knew right away it was something I wanted to do. Small problem with that, though. Everything I found was super cutesy and nice for normal bride-to-be’s to give to their buddies.

I don’t know if you’ve caught on by now on this, and I don’t want to alarm you, but I’m not exactly what you would call normal.

So, the challenge: find a way to ask a small handful of girls to help a sister out when the sister is dark and a touch eccentric?

I started my journey in Hobby Lobby: a store not necessarily up to the task of fulfilling my gothic needs. I had my sister join me in this adventure, a woman whom I love dearly even though she thinks I’m a little weird. We wandered around for the extent of her lunch hour while trying to figure out just how we’re going to do this. We picked up a lot of things, and ended up putting everything back. Reason: I’m bad at coming up with ideas under pressure. Who was putting me under pressure? Myself. Naturally. I’m an anxious mess 99% of the time.

I spent the next several weeks browsing Amazon and Pinterest trying to figure out my life. I’d take screenshots and send them to my sister, anything from box setup to creepy little ditties, and she would likewise tell me it was cute or reject my brilliant ideas in the most brutal way possible. I always take her advice with a grain of salt, though, because she’s normal and I’m my own person. Grown independent woman don’t need no normie.

Ultimately, I did what I wanted anyway. I work like that. I have to face rejection to really know what it is I want. Otherwise I do what other people want just to make the process easier. Eh, not one of my best traits. Follower and all that nonsense.

Anyway, that’s not the point. You didn’t come here to hear about my shitty decision making skills. You came here to see my sick ass bridesmaid proposal boxes!

First thing I did was decide on a theme. I am having my wedding in the fall, and I want it to be dark but not cheesy. Gothic romance. Think Phantom of the Opera. The Andrew Lloyd Webber one. Classy shit (said in the most unclassy way possible). I want Halloween, but not Halloween. Light Halloween.

I settled on buying little stress dolls on Amazon that look like voodoo dolls. They are absolutely adorable and I would recommend them to anyone who wants a cute, inexpensive gift. Plus, they smell like cookies. They feel nice in your hand. They are just all-around a great little gift. Just a little touch of fun for an otherwise super serious proposal. Or something like that. 😉

Nextly, I knew I wanted to add something in there a little bit more…I don’t know…nice? I wanted to give my girls something they could keep that wasn’t just a cheap novelty item. Here, Hobby Lobby was exactly what I needed. I took a stroll through there, intending on just getting a box and some filler, and lo and behold, they had some of their fall decor out.

Sick ass pumpkins!

I found some baby ones that were a hollow scrolly fancy type, and called it a win. Then I snagged a few fold up boxes and shredded filler paper (the stuff my sister picked out, no less), and some scrapbooking paper and got the hell out of there. I never much cared for shopping before, but I care for it even less now that the rona has taken over. Pandemics suck.

I knew I wanted to ask them in a unique way, and nothing on Pinterest or elsewhere on the wide wide world of the interwebs satisfied me. I had to turn to the one thing that never let me down. My one ace. Alright, I’ll cut the bullshit; I had to figure it out on my own. I ended up taking inspiration from Phantom of the Opera and my own mother who used to take existing songs and write alternative lyrics for them for plays. I spun Notes into a proposal. Why Notes? Because I have a thing with my best friend and the word ‘publicity.’ I couldn’t miss out on an opportunity for the inside joke. Originally, I was going to use it just for hers, but the thing as a whole really came out nicely, inside joke aside, so I used it for the other two as well.

I added a card for them to take a selfie with for their answer, an information card for what little parts I do know such as the date and the overall theme I’m shooting for, and a couple quotes from Stephen King that I really like. Threw it all together, and off in the mail they went!

By now, they all have received their respective boxes. I’ve gotten one answer back with the selfie, one just a text (poor sport, what can I say?), and one I’m still waiting on a definite answer. All of them seemed to really like the contents inside at very least. I sent pictures of them all to my mom and my sister, and they both said the same thing: It’s cute, and it’s very you. I take that as a compliment, and therefore, a win.

So, that’s it. That’s as far in the wedding thing as I’ve gotten so far, and there’s a lot of time to figure it out, but just because it’s not for a couple years doesn’t mean that I can slack off. There’s a lot left to do. So. Much. Planning.

Hey, void. You look cute today. Also, did you ever do a bridesmaid proposal? Or, if you haven’t gotten married, what do you think of them? Obviously, I think they are adorable. My sister thought they were a little out of the ordinary. What say you?

My Mind

To Wed or Not To Wed?

June 21, 2020April 8, 2021 Manda Kay

Spoiler alert: Still wed. Definitely wed.

Planning out a wedding is a lot to take on, yo. I used to be so sure of what I wanted. And then as soon as I got engaged, it’s like my mind was wiped clean and I don’t even remember how to do words good to talk about what want. What. Want. Who am I marrying? What day is it?? When am I??? Sheesh.

So then, here’s a roundabout update as to where I’m at on that.

I’m a planner-person. As in I like planners. A lot. Too much, one might say. It’s normal for me to have three separate ones for three separate things that could easily be combined into one but damnit, there are too many cute ones that come out every year and it’s so hard to choose.

But that’s not the point.

The point is I wanted a wedding planner. But the harsh reality is that I couldn’t find one that I liked. Every single one I picked up wasn’t me. They all had inspiration pages that would appeal to the average bride, I’m sure, but let’s face it: I’m not average. I am one of the ones who is kinda into the whole black dress thing. Those planners didn’t scream alternative. They screamed nice and expensive or cute and country and nothing at all inbetween.

No thanks.

So, void, I did what I do best. I gave up my search (even though I had it narrowed down to about three that I could try to make work) and decided that if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.

I started making my own planner in this cute notebook I got from Barnes and Noble a while back. Now, I haven’t gotten far in it due to moving and cleaning and getting caught back up with writing, but I have a general plan of how it’s going to play out. And that’s half the battle, I think. That and getting the lettering right… Seriously, how do people make interesting handwriting look so easy??

Like this, for instance. Wanna know how I decided to do the little frilly lines? This book right here:

Nothing like a good butchering to get your inspiration on.

I’ll check in every once in a while when something interesting pops up. Wish me luck.